Holiday Harmonies

by Nick Darrow

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released December 20, 2016



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Nick Darrow Los Angeles, California

He lives in Los Angeles. He doesn't really like Los Angeles.

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Track Name: Christmas Magic
Tonight, I'm just gonna fly so high.
Lift your eyes up to the sky.
Let's make this holiday bright.

Children, lift your little eyes up to the moon.
Santa's coming soon.

Ho, ho, it's showtime. Show time.
Guess who's back again.
So let it snow. Let it snow.
Because it means my ride will soon begin.

I'm wearing patent belts.
Designer felts.
The North Poles finest robe.
Don't stare too hard, might hurt yourself -
like to call this "looking red to toe"

I'm a generous man when I plan a night of sledding
So many kids around the world, and I bring them each a present
Can't be sad, cuz the gifts in the giving - not the getting
Children only

Lift your little eyes up to the moon. Santa's coming soon.
Feeling that Christmas magic in the air.
Peace and joy's in season.

Second verse for the grown-ups.
Who celebrate with all ya'll friends.
Can I teach? Can I teach you how a Christmas parties s'posed to being?
First - grab your chip,
scoop your dip,
hang your mistletoe, purse your lips

Spend all night, get to sippin' on egg nog (hashtag spiked)

I'm a generous man when I fly around the world.
Bringing happiness and harmony to every boy and girl.
Raise a glass, sing a song as you watch the snowy swirl.
Grown ups only - lift your weary eyes up to the moon.

Feeling that Christmas magic in the air. Peace and joy's in season.

Everywhere I go, they be like "oh it's Santa."
Track Name: Trump Yourself
I can't believe that you're throwing a parade
because this guy says he will give up his pay.
If you really think he's smart, oh God you're in bad shape.
There aint no way he'll make America great.

And I never thought that anyone -
No, not anyone, anywhere would be dumb enough to praise him
for the things he's saying.
I can't believe what's going on.
And I think if you can't see that he's a walking train wreck,
you should get your brain checked.

The Pope, he don't like him - and he likes everyone.
He don't even try to admit when he is wrong.
But you get so caught up in his drama, your common sense is gone
it's all a show and now I think that you should know...

That if you like the things he says that much,
then baby you should vote for Trump yourself.
And if you think that he's what's best for us,
then maybe you should go and fuck yourself.

He's always saying that he has all these plans.
The biggest problem is that they don't make sense.
And if you try to say his information is wrong,
he'll double-down and question where you come from.

And he's gonna say "you don't belong,"
cuz if anyone disagrees with him he thinks they're a traitor,
communist, or hater
And then he's gonna build a wall,
cuz he says that migrants are usurping U.S. places,
but really he's just racist.

The KKK like him, and they hate everyone.
And he'd rather die than admit when he is wrong.
And he gets so caught up in his lies,
he don't know which one he's on.
He's clearly slow,
and yet he's leading in the polls.

So if you like (etc.)

Oh every time that he opens his mouth,
another seed of his stupidity sprouts
within a fertile mind too dumb to work things out.
And just believes what some loud, idiot shouts.

So if you like (etc.)
Track Name: Shalom
I know this whole thing's bound to flip your lids
I'm sure you've seen me hangin out with pharaoh's kids
I ran away, but now I'm back for more
Shalom - it was me you were waitin for
I know it comes as a surprise
It's cuz when I was a child,
to avoid the executions I got tossed into the Nile.
I was found and raised in wealth,
and I never had a clue
til a burning bush just told me I'm a Jew

If that's a lot to process, just hold on
the next thing I'm about to say might rub you wrong
It seems we have to find a brand new home
Shalom - but we really gotta go
Cuz the pharaoh says "it's cool"
that he hopes we have a ball
But I can't quite shake the feeling that he wants to kill us all.
Now I don't know where to go,
and I don't know what to do.
But I'm yahweh and I'm saying "I'm with you"

Shalom - I just came to let you know
That we're running out of time,
and the king's been in a mood.
I suggest you grab your sandals.
Come with me and we'll vamoose
Cuz the tensions getting high and we haven't much to lose,
So let's start the great egressing of the Jews
Track Name: You'll Be Back (the Sequel)
You say the price of a tickets a price you're not willing to pay.
You cry at the cost of the large tub of popcorn you're waiting to buy.
It's a joke - to think what was once a diversion is now just a way
to make people go broke.
And though you may swear "it's the last time," in the end...

You'll be back in a week
There'll be something that you need to see.
You'll be back. You know why.
As you chase the entertainment high,
prices rise, standards fall - but we flock together, one and all
for expense cannot cease to deter the joy you get from being first to see a new release

da da da etc.

You bank account is draining, yet you still go on.
You have to make it rain to get one foot long.
And though I keep complaining,
my rage won't be abating.
It's just so irritating.
With prices escalating forever and ever and ever.

I'll be back. Like Arnold said.
For there's not a brain inside my head.
I'll be back. Aint it sweet.
Spare some change when I am in the street.
It's not fair. It's not nice, but we know that we'll pay any price.
Cuz when push comes to shove,
we would kill our friends and families to avoid a spoiler flub.

da da da etc.
Track Name: Can't Stop Agreeing
I won these tickets to see a show.
A famous mentalist whose name is "Mesmero."
And then he picks me to come on stage.
He asks me if I'd help him out, I say "okay."

He takes this watch out of his pocket that he waves in front of me,
and I just can't help but watch it as it gleams.
I can't take my eyes up off it, it moves so hypnotically.
I can feel my body drifting into sleep.

Then in my dreams, I hear someone say
"there's no release, I am under (his) sway"
When he speaks, then I have to obey - then he tells me

There's a chicken cluckin' down in my pants, pants, pants
And I can feel him runnin' round, so I dance, dance, dance
I must look like such a clown in this trance, trance, trance
and I think I can almost hear the crown laughing.

I can't stop agreeing. I'm in a trance, trance trance.
I can't stop agreeing. I'm stuck in a trance trance trance

Ooh. It's something magical.
I'm like a puppet with strings only he can pull.
And his compulsion is in control.
I want to stop, but I can't make myself say "no."

Now I got this beaver in my pocket thinking my leg is a tree.
I feel him nibbling on my body when it stops.
Cuz the chicken's come upon it, quite antagonistically
and I fear a sudden ruckus in my socks.

That's when I feel my world go slow.
A sense of dread that's beginning to grow.
Like my drawers are about to explode.
Then it happens....

Suddenly all hell breaks loose in my pants pants pants
And there is nothing I can do so I dance dance dance.
Woodland creatures fighting ruin my pants pants pants
and I think I can almost hear the crowd laughing.

I can't stop agreeing. I just can't control my body.
Track Name: Stream On
Every time I turn on the TV
All these line ups of new shows and movies.
My laptop too.
I binge watch from dusk to dawn.
Never make a dent.
Every time a series ends, I start again.

I know nobody knows how to see so many shows.
Netflix, Hulu and the rest -
how am I to know what's best?

Half my life's in front of a screen now
catching up on the shows my friends tweet 'bout
to stay in the loop.
But there's always so much to view.

Flick with me
Flick through the series
Flick through the pictures in the libraries
Flick with me, watch every show
I'm sure, any day now, the internet's gonna explode

Flick with me, flick until your contents through
Flick with me, flick until you have no queue

Stream on, stream on, stream on
Track Name: Hating on You
You won the lotto,
gave it away to the poor and suffering.
Then saves some orphans from a fire.
But it doesn't change a thing.

The world thinks you're so amazing.
But you'll never hear me praising.

Wherever you go, whatever you do,
I will be right here hating on you.
Now matter how great, I'll find the mistakes.
I will be right here hating on you.

You spent November up in space
with the other astronauts.
Cured global warming, cancer and sars.
But I get that's all you got.

You act like you're the first guy
to win your nobel peace price.

Wherever you go, whatever you do (etc.)

There's not a thing that you can do with your life
that I won't find a way to mock or criticize.

You won't impress me, ever.
Not if you live forever.
Track Name: Pay
You say that I can buy when I want to.
And you say that I had all this time, so.
And I thought all the terms were simple,
even though all the words were long.
But with this bill I'm reading,
now I feel like I did something wrong,
cuz I owe you. Yea - I owe you.

You say I only give when I need to.
And no APR on eight balance transfers
on every new transactions of anything, anywhere
I don't understand why these fees are there
I thought I'd get a warning, but no no no.

And so I start to yell and I curse,
I tear the envelope up -
that's when all of the panic sets in.
Copped a new coat, cuz I wanted one in gray
to match the Maserati that I got the other day.
I sit and wonder as I think of the other things I bought
and what I put on the card.
And when I add them up, I am certain that I'm hosed.

Guess I figured I was clever,
but soon I'll just be poor.
I thought I had until forever until I had to pay em' back.
It seems I slacked too much.

How could I be so naive to
believe that I'd let slide
a bill that if you read like it reads
looks like I purchased Telluride.

God I owe you. Yea I owe you.

You said you called me for some money
and you wanted me to know
that you'd be sending a collector
for everything I owed because my bill was due.

Then you say "pay"
And I say "I don't have a way to"
Track Name: Some Money for Lunch
Can anybody lend me some money for lunch?

I spend all day long in my classroom.
Can barely stand on my feet.
Take a look at the clock and I cry.
Lord it's about time to eat.

But I left my wallet in my living room.
And my hunger needs some relief, lord.
Somebody. Somebody.
Can anybody lend me some money for lunch?

I work hard.
Wake each morning at five.
Spend more time here than I'm home.
But at the mid (at the middle of the day)
If I don't eat, my stomach starts to groan.
I'll get down on my knees and I'll start to beg,
if you'll loan me enough for some fries lord.

Somebody. Somebody.
Can anybody lend me some money for lunch.

I work hard.
All the time.
I buy and I buy and I buy.
But now when I need just a little help they say
"they can't repay me"
they say they only got a debit and no change
they got no cash to lend,
but they're nuts if they think I'm believing them

Won't you please give me nutrition?
I'm starting to sway on my fight.
I'm okay, I'm alright -
except that my legs feel so weak.

Damn you, give me those coins or I'll raise some hell.
I'll use the vending machine lord.

Lend me some money for lunch...etc

Can anybody lend me some money for lunch?
Track Name: Believe It or Not (We're Stupid)
Look at what's happened to us
I can't believe it myself
Millions of people across 50 states,
we couldn't find anyone else?

Believe it or not, we took the wrong pair
I never thought we could be so dumb.
We picked the guy with ridiculous hair.
Everyone's stumped.
Believe it or not, we chose Trump.

Just like when Hitler took Poland,
he sauntered right out of the blue.
Racist and foaming and ready scream,
like a biblical nightmare come true.

Believe it or not (etc.)

This is too bad to be true.
Look at him.
He's a buffoon.

Believe it or not, believe it or not, (etc.)
Track Name: No Lay Away
Every year I have a way to avoid each Christmas purchase.
I buy the gifts a week ahead, then I go to costumer service.
Every present I've chosen gets put in the back
and held until I come and pay.
Now I'm standing with my cart in line,
when I hear the head cashier say "no lay away."

No lay away. Buy it tonight, or tomorrow the things you want might go away. Cuz there's no lay away.

As it slowly dawns on me that my Christmas plans are thwarted,
I price the basket in my head and I know I can't afford it.
So I sift through the items and try to decide
between what should stay and should go.
But it's clear that in the end I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.

No lay away (etc.)

And if I see a sale, when does it end?
Tell me how will I know?

No lay away (etc.)

Give me the strength and the courage to believe I can skip black Friday,
cuz there's no lay away

Every year I had a way to avoid my Christmas shopping...
Track Name: Dumb White Girls
You spend all day shopping with your daddy's credit cards,
then you go bar hopping and your drinks come free of charge.
You believe that you're so important,
but you've never done one thing.
And you'll just change owners when you get a wedding ring.

Yet so many belong to this country club of wrong. Oh so wrong.

All you dumb, white girls living excessively.
All you dumb, white girls think it's your destiny, your destiny.
Yea you dumb, white girls with all your attitudes.
All you dumb, white girls who never learn gratitude. Learn gratitude.

They get lost in their own hype.
They confuse beautiful with thin.
Self esteem is built on lies.
But they will never look within.

Oh I will never understand why being stupid's in demand.
Sense don't exist if you think like this, that much I know.
Yet these girls all aspire to be prostitutes for hire.
Why, oh why?

All you dumb, white girls think all of your crap is free.
Cuz you dumb, white girls live in a fantasy. A fantasy.
All you dumb, white girls with your expensive shoes.
Yea you dumb, white girls don't have a brain to use. A brain to use.
It's true.

All you dumb, white girls living excessively.
Yea you dumb, white girls who think it's your destiny, your destiny.
All you dumb, white girls with your expensive shoes.
Yea you dumb, white girls and all of your attitudes.